"I didn't have it that bad."
Have those words ever crossed your mind when thinking about your cancer experience?
If they have, I want you to know two things:
You are not alone. It's an incredibly common feeling.
It’s one of the most damaging things you can tell yourself.
I was speaking with someone about this recently, and it reminded me of my own journey. I used to tell myself the same thing years ago. It felt like a way to cope, to put things in perspective. But it wasn't perspective; it was denial.
This thought is a lie your brain feeds you, and it's holding you back.
Why is it so harmful? Because it completely discredits and invalidates what you went through. It dismisses your very real trauma.
Your experience with cancer isn't "less than" if you were Stage 1.
It isn't "less than" if you didn't need chemotherapy or lose your hair.
It isn't "less than" if your side effects weren't as severe as someone else's.
Your experience is your experience. Period.
Cancer is a deeply invasive event. For most, it's one of the hardest things they will ever face. Saying "I didn't have it that bad" robs your story of its validity, and your story is 100% valid, no matter the details.
The Shift from Minimizing to Owning
So what's the alternative? What happens when you stop feeding yourself this lie?
You start to heal.
Instead of keeping your story locked away because you feel it doesn't "qualify," you can begin to own it. When you own your story, you do two powerful things:
You begin to heal your own "invisible scars." You give yourself permission to process the fear, the grief, and the disconnection you've been carrying.
You help someone else feel less alone. Your story, in its unique truth, has the power to make another survivor feel seen and understood.
You are worthy of owning your story. Learning how to do this is how you truly set yourself free from the grip cancer has on your life. It's how you go from feeling lost and broken to feeling whole and in control.
This is the work we do. We help you move past the comparisons and the self-dismissal. We give you the life tools to regulate your nervous system, process your emotions, and heal your relationship with yourself and your body.
If you're tired of telling yourself you "didn't have it that bad" and are ready to feel empowered to live fully on your terms, let's connect. Send me a message, and I'll share how we can support you.
